When a choice becomes an addiction

It’s been a while since I have written anything here. I have a list of things I have been meaning to write about, but I never seem to get down to writing them. You might want to sit down for this blog though, as it is going to be a long one:
You don’t need to be an addict to understand addiction. Why do people look down on those who are addicts? Why is it that we don’t respect them the same way as a non-addict? No one is born an addict. So many of us are addicted to something (maybe many things): we are all guilty of this. It is simply just the choices we make, that we then lose control over; you make the same choice enough times and it turns into habit and habits are hard to undo. Addiction is not easy to live with, no one chooses to live a life where they no longer have control over what they are doing. Everybody wants to be in control. Why is it that someone who has a shopping addiction is more acceptable in society than someone who is addicted to smoking, drinking or any other drug?
The reality is addition is caused over time, often while a person is trying to deal with life’s many issues. Some people like to shop to make themselves feel better and others like to smoke to forget about the pain they are going through, before they know it, these enjoyments become their addiction. At first it’s a choice, a quick fix to escape the reality of whatever the situation is. So many things happen in our lives that really push us to our limits and we often break. Some of us mentally can cope, but others turn to their addiction.
Many of us know individuals that are addicted to something. We judge them, we look down on them. We expect them to give it up (just like that) and become a better person, but little do we know that these individuals are trying, day in, day out, to give this habit up. The struggle they face is immeasurable.
Even though there is help available, at first people do not want to talk about their addiction, not even to those closest to them, never mind seeking professional help. People often suffer in silence, never talk to anyone about their struggles. we could be with them most days and never know anything because they don’t want us to think any less of them. They want to maintain the image we have of them. Society can be harsh and make anyone feel unworthy at times.
When they do choose to talk, all they get told is “give it up,” “it’s not good for you,” or “you’re killing yourself.” All we start doing is lecturing about how awful their habit is and how we know better. Of course, the person who’s living with an addiction knows that it has consequences; they know how bad it can be for their health; they know that it is not the life they want: they know all the pitfalls – they suffer them over and over. We don’t need to remind them of all the awful things that can happen to them: they are already being reminded every day.
What we need to do is be more positive. If we are lucky enough that a loved one respects and values your view and chooses to talk about their addiction, please remember that they are coming to you for help. We should keep our ears and minds open and keep our egos to one side – this is not about us. We should listen to them because that’s all we can do, as a friend or a companion you can’t make them give anything up, but by being there for them you can support them on that journey. It’s up to each person how they chose to better themselves and we all have our own ways of doing this.
If you do know of someone suffering from addiction of any kind my advice is to keep listening to them. Do not force them to quit as this will only make them want to carry on. They may think you don’t accept them the way they are, so you want them to change. In most cases that’s not true, we still love them for who they are and are trying to be helpful but have simply chosen the wrong approach. Don’t forget they are just people, with feelings and emotions and frustrations. Sometimes people don’t even know why they make the choices that they make.
We should be grateful and thankful that we can be part of their journey of recovery, as not everyone wants to give up something that has helped them cope with grief, sadness, loneliness or regret. Although, we know addiction has never helped anyone, recognise that for them it is their way of life, a choice they made to help them deal with the world around them that has then taken over their entire life. A choice that has become an addiction. . .
Addiction of any kind is bad and it can kill people, but let us not forget that non-addicts die too: no one lives forever. So, love everyone and disrespect no one.

 

When The Past Calls….

When the past calls, let it go to voicemail. It has nothing new to say

How accurate is this saying.

Gosh I don’t even know where to start. Is it only me who has to deal with this? Surely it can’t be.

Most of us have such warm memories from the past. we find it so hard to let go. But its madness to try and re-live that part of your life again.  But don’t you just hate it when the past keeps calling. It’s like they couldn’t find anyone better and realised no one would put up with their bullshit. They come running back to you. They think your still that stupid person they once walked all over. Maturity does not come from age it comes from experiences. The deeper the scars they stronger you are. No one waits around sobbing over anyone and I’m not talking about just the lovers here I’m talking about everyone all the so-called friends and family members and so on. This doesn’t just apply to your ex . It’s for everyone that walked all over you. Was never there for you in your difficult time. They left you at your worst, and now that they see you doing so well, they start asking how comes we lost touch? I mean seriously !

The worst one has to be when they ask you, if you could be friends again? Ok! let me start of course we can be friends again, because I have such a fish memory that I will forget the hell you put me through, and i will forgive the pain you caused me. I’ll  just be the bigger person shall I.

Now that I am at peace, And I have found the light and meaning to my life. You want to crawl back? And remind me of everything i left behind? What are you?

This is how most people would react but this just does not help.

When people decide to walk out of your life, It’s for a reason. We might not see it that way at the time, But its true. They leave because they no longer find a connection. They no longer appreciate your company. The selfish ones walk away when you stop doing things for them. When you stop being loyal to ungrateful people they no longer feel the need to stick around. When you are at your lowest, That is when you realise who your real companions are. You don’t need to look back. You’ve been there many times and nothing was wroth keeping. If you keep looking back you’ll keep tripping when moving forward.

When the past calls, Let it call eventually it will hang up, Just like it did before. Never take anyone back, If they can leave you once, They will never hesitate to leave you again. They know you too well, That’s why they keep crawling back.

This whole process should teach you to BE YOU. Work on your self and those who stay know your worth and those who leave never knew you. Why chase after someone who only wants to benefit themselves.  The company you keep says a lot about you as a person. If you surround yourself with selfish people, You’ll never get far in life. All you will feel is aches pains and wondering how “YOU” got there. Don’t be so deluded open your eyes and see the bigger picture, There is so much more to life, Then running back to open the doors to let them crawl back in. No one likes to move backwards, Everyone likes to move forward. Just like how they moved on when they left you.

Take each day to develop yourself pay no attention to what they think of you or who they are with. The more time you waste worrying about how much of a good time they are having,  The less happy you’ll be. Don’t depend on anyone for your own happiness, If you do you’ll  be sad forever. Happiness is not a thing , It’s a feeling that comes by appreciating the little things you do for yourself. The only person who has your back is YOU. The moment you appreciate “YOU” there’s nothing that will stop you from pressing that BLOCK button.

Unless you glance back and learn from a mistake you are just going to be staring at the “damaged you”.  If you don’t move past it and settle it, forgive it and forget it, you are only hurting your soul and spirit.

Never let someone with the significance of a speed bump become a roadblock in your life!

 

 

Snowdonia National Park-Wales

“Keep close to Nature’s heart…and break clear away, once in awhile, and climb a mountain or spend a week in the woods. Wash your spirit clean.” (John Muir)

Got to love the beauty of wales. The stunning mount snowdon so pleasing to the eyes. i loved the long roads with endless greenery around them.

The beautiful lakes and of course lots of sheeps….img_8966

Beautiful Bala Lake in Gwynedd, Wales.

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Just Life….

 

Why is life so complicated?
I have those days where I feel completely lost. Feel like I’m carrying the weight of the whole world on my shoulders. And then I have some days where I’m happy and content with life. Why do I have these Episodes? What changes. Honestly even I don’t know.

Maybe its normal maybe most people have them kind of feelings who knows.
How can someone feel so empty and sad despite being so busy day in day out being surrounded by friends and family all the time. How do we even find the time to feel this way. Most importantly why don’t our loved ones spot the signs of us being so unhappy and sad? How can they not see?
Well, I’m guilty of this too I don’t know who’s faking happiness and who’s genuinely happy. I ask them how are you? And I always get the same reply “I’m fine thank you”. Do we say this because it’s so much easier to spare the details? It’s so much easier to say “I’m fine” then saying I feel completely empty inside. I feel like my emotions are everywhere. It’s easier to pretend to be happy stay quite.

The reality is we live in such a fast-paced  world that days are flying by and we have no control over anything. Or do we? Some people are lucky enough to achieve all their bucket list and other just trying to make it through each day.

Sometimes it’s the same old routine over and over again which makes us questions what is life. Were we just created to work and pay bill? Or is there more….I don’t know!

Sometimes I take a moment and take a deep breath and start counting  my blessings, But I can be  so Un-greatful sometimes!! I guess its in human nature to never be satisfied or content with what we have. Always want more and more, Never happy!

But I now know its the little things that actually make us happy.

Small gestures! Worrying about the past brings no happiness to the future nor can it be fixed.  Let go and be grateful for being alive each day as life is the biggest blessing! even if our plans are not working out just remember gods plans are always better then ours and he will only give you the best!

Visiting Durdle Door…

The Jurassic Coast near Lulworth in Dorset, England was truly breathtakingly beautiful.  This place was truly worth visiting…….

Its been over a year since i visited this beautiful beach in dorset. The clear water of the sea and beautiful greenery of  the hills took my breath away. Its amazing how the beauty of nature can make you feel so good.The calm atmosphere and the cool breeze at its finest.

 

Living With Hyperthyroidism….

 

Living With Hyperthyroidism….

 It all started when I felt very ill completely out of the blue. I had no idea what was wrong with me, as a healthy, active person I never had felt way this before. So I ignored all the signs and symptoms, telling myself that this was probably just some phase I was going through, maybe I was just getting old? In my head I was aware that something was not right, but as I was an active healthy person not once did it occur to me that there could be something medically wrong. Over time the aches and pain got worse, I would complain to my family and friends but they didn’t seem to understand. I would take painkillers and let another day pass by: soon I realised the painkillers were not working.

I took myself to my doctors. I told my doctor how I felt, but he didn’t seem to think much of it, he asked me to have a blood test to see what the cause could be. The test came back all clear and he told me there was nothing wrong with me. By this point, each day was always the same: wake up with endless pain, try to clear my mind, but end up thinking of only how I was going to get through another eventful day. Nothing seems to help, my mind couldn’t rest. The trips to my doctor became frequent: facing the same rude receptionist over and over again and each time being told that nothing was wrong with me. I gave up; I felt so depressed, some days I could barely get out of bed.

Luckily for me, my work colleagues picked up on my low moods, my aches and pains. They noticed how I had gone from being a happy, lively person to a complete dead zombie. They advised me to change my doctor. I found a new GP right near my house and registered straight away, I went and saw the new doctor and told him how I had been feeling. My new Doctor seemed to listen to what I had to say. He asked me if anyone in my family suffered from any thyroid disorders, I told him that no one did and that I had NEVER EVEN HEARD OF Hyperthyroidism before. He told me that he knew what was wrong with me but wanted to be sure, so I once again I went for a blood test – “another one” I thought. When my test came back I was diagnosed with an Underactive thyroid: from that moment my life changed…

So many questions went through my head: what was this? How did I end up with it? Why me? But, after over a year, I finally had an answer to all the endless aches and pains, an answer to the constant hair loss, the tiredness and the constant depression, an answer to why I was not me anymore.

Unfortunately, I have only listed some of the problems caused by a thyroid condition. Some of the symptoms can make life a bit of a mission:  joint pain, dizziness, concentration lapses, weight gain and anxiety, not to mention depression. So now every morning I must remember to take tablets, although, after a while this has just become habit. I have regular trips to the GP, where I take more blood tests. Sometimes I wonder when my mind and body is going to get a deserved rest.

The trouble with a thyroid illness is that it’s mostly unseen, and so it is hard for others to understand. Family and friends can sometimes seem so mean saying things like, “pull yourself together,’ ‘just go out and get some air’ or ‘stop being so miserable.’ It feels like they don’t care. It’s hard to explain to them exactly how it makes me feel – that this isn’t someone else’s story for me, this is all real. I know that a lot of people suffer from illnesses and it is hard for others around them to understand. I find myself always saying ‘Yeah I’m fine’ when asked how I am, never wanting to say that really I feel like I’ve been hit by a car! For me, my family still doesn’t know what Hypothyroidism is.

I have days now where I wake up wishing I didn’t, and others where I am a ball of energy. Some mornings I wake up with patchy eyebrows or puffy eyes. I’ve learnt to accept these conditions and that I have to live with this for the rest of my life. It is really depressing knowing I’ve got to rely on medication for the rest of my life to feel normal, but I do not let this condition define me – it is not who I am. I try and live my days to the fullest, to enjoy the little things in life which I once took for granted, and have as much fun as I can.

When I tell people that I have an Underactive thyroid they never know what it is and usually show no interest either. I know there are so many people out there who never talk about their condition simply because it is an unseen one. I know from my experiences that conditions like this are not easy to live with. I’ve spent days hiding myself in my room, feeling sorry for myself, feeling worthless and that everyone would be better off without me: just wanting to be alone. I am lucky; I have the best support system around me – they pull me back. They might not understand what I go through but they never give up on me. I have a lot of distractions to keep me going and my work colleagues are so understanding and supportive.

I know that there are a lot of people who don’t get the support and they suffer in silence. If you have a family member or a friend who suffers from Hyperthyroidism, please be kind and considerate, listen to them and try and be there for them. Trust me when I say this condition is really difficult to live with, no one would want to – I for one, sure don’t.

(source:BTF)